Have you ever wondered why, despite of all the efforts and hard work, you still fail to achieve your goals? May it be an improved health or losing weight, better relationship, more secured and growing finances, or even to play a new musical instrument. Despite of trying all ways and and searching Google and thousands of websites, you still are unable to get the results that you want. Probably, the reason for not achieving these results is because it is not in our identity to achieve such results.
What is Identity?
Identity simply means the distinguishing character or personality of an individual. These character or personality are built by our everyday habits. We human are creatures of habits. A fact that makes us above all other living things on earth.
Everything we do are based on the habits that we built from years of our existence. And these habits are very hard to change, you probably have noticed that, right? You probably know someone who finds it hard to quit smoking, or you might also be someone who craves for potato chips while watching TV, or probably you automatically brush your teeth first thing in the morning without even thinking about it.
These are all habits and the brain doesn’t know whether it’s a good habit or a bad. All it knows is that it’s a habit! And the good news is, according to studies, these habits are not impossible to change or improve regardless of our age contrary to previous studies that our brain stops developing at around the age of 21. Instead, due to the incredible flexibility of our brain called neuroplasticity, you can still change your habits even if you already are in you 40s and above.
Outcome Based Versus Identity Based Habits
Now that we know that it is very possible to change our habits in order to achieve that results that we’ve always wanted, it is equally important to know that there are three layers that we need to change.
According to James Clear in his book Atomic Habits, the three layers of habits to change are:
Your outcomes. This level refers to the results you want to achieve: lose weight, earn more money, learn to play piano, start your youtube channel, etc. Most of our goals we set are associated with this level of change.
Your process. This level is concerned with changing our personal systems: implementing a new routine in the gym or home workout, re-arranging your room or office for more inspired workflow or learning, developing a me time. etc. Most ot the habits we build are associated with this level.
Your Identity. This is the third and deepest layer of changing our habits. This level is concerned with changing our beliefs: our self-image, our judgements about ourselves and others, our mindset about everything, etc. Most of the beliefs, assumptions, and biases we hold are associated with this level.
Identity-Based Habits
For us to have a sustainable change in habits, the key is to have a new identity. To become a new you. Your current behavior are simply a reflection of your current identity. And your current identity are simply a collection of thoughts and beliefs that were influenced by the people closest to you — parents, siblings, friends, teachers, celebrities or movie characters, etc. In todays age, our identity can also be influence my the massive social media and internet.
This being said, who we perceive we are is not really who we are! Our brains were just like a once empty file cabinet and gradually being filled with information that our brain will use in the events that we need to make some decisions. This also greatly influences our everyday habits.
Understanding this, we can truly see that once you build your new identity, it is easier for us to achieve the things we want to get in life.
This idea explains why some lottery winners eventually got back to being broke or even worst than what they were before simply because it’s not their identity to handle such large amount of money. Same is true with Mike Tyson who made over $1 Billion but eventually went down to $10 million and even declared himself bankrupt in 2003 due to huge debt due to his spending habits.
"I want to quit smoking" versus "I am not a smoker"
I was once a smoker for almost 25 years. At a very young age, I started to learn to smoke cigarette with my friends during high school. This idea of changing my identity helped me to finally get rid of smoking for more than 2 years now. And it’s one of the best things that ever happened to me.
For how many years, I’ve been saying “I want to quit smoking”, but I found it very hard to actually do so. And this is not a unique story, you might probably know someone who’ve been trying to quit smoking but finds it very hard to eliminate that nicotine addiction.
The moment I discovered this idea of changing my identity, I finally was able to kick those cancer sticks out of my daily routine by, instead of saying “I want to quit smoking” or “I don’t want to smoke anymore”, my self-declaration was “I AM NOT A SMOKER”.
Why is it more effective? Because the latter perceives to your identity and the former refers only to your outcome you want to achieve and as earlier mentioned, identity-based habits are more sustainable than outcome-based ones.
This made it easier for me to quit smoking because it focuses more on who I am rather than what I want to achieve. It’s deeper, more compelling, by just simply making my identity new or different. It focuses on the core and not on the outside of the circle.
The Golden Circle Relation
Same with the golden circle concept, layers of habits can also be illustrated using 3 concentric circles with identity being the core and outcome being the outermost layer as shown in the drawing above. Starting with your identity means creating your habits from the inside out.
Outcomes are about what you get. Processes are about what you do. Identity is about what you believe. When it comes to building habits that last, the problem is not that one level is “better” or “worse” than another. All levels of change are useful in their own way. The problem is the direction of change.
Many people begin the process of changing their habits by focusing on what they want to achieve. This leads us to outcome-based habits. The alternative is to build identity-based habits. With this approach, we start by focusing on who we wish to become.
What is Your Identity?
When you want to achieve your goals or just become better at something, defining your identity concretely is far more important that achieving amazing results.
Most of us get motivation and inspiration by watching YouTube videos, listening to your favorite music, or even joining a 9-day fitness challenge. However, don’t be surprised if sooner or later, you’ll get burnt out. Truth is, you can’t rely on motivation alone. You have to become the person you want to be, and that starts in proving your new identity to yourself.
Ever wonder why 90% of all New Years Resolution only lasts for only a few weeks to about 2 months (I’m talking to myself) and then eventually seems to forget what our resolutions are? It’s because most of our resolutions are outcome-based e.g., performance-, appearance-, profit-based, in hopes that these will drive us to do things differently – better it never did, right?
So if you’re looking to make a change physically, emotionally, financially, socially, spiritually, and so on, stop focusing on results and start focusing on your identity. Become the person whom you think can achieve the things you want to achieve. Let’s build identity-based habits now. Enjoy the results later.
Identity-Based Habits: How to Actually Stick to Your Goals This Year
The book Atomic Habit: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones (check the book here)
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